A post from a couple of years ago that I re-read recently. It still says what I want to say. It’s good to go back, I think, and revisit ideas, contemplate them and learn new lessons. I’m making a lot of progress in the area of my physical health since originally posting this.
Recent events have caused me to ask myself, “How and Where do I want to live for the next decades of the rest of my life?”
The How (Physical) I am turning 50 this year. My recent physical shows an uptick in all my numbers. And I don’t mean in a good way. My doctor, a mild mannered and non-scolding type, told me that even though he understands how I got here, I’ve got to get a handle on this now. I can no longer fool myself into thinking that ‘once this stressor is taken care of’ I’ll be able to deal with my weight, my blood sugar, my blood pressure and my cholesterol. One thing I’ve learned in the past 5 years is that there’s always another stress inducing issue just around the corner.
It’s true that all of my physical issues are exacerbated by stress, but mostly my own laziness is to blame. I’ve always hated to sweat. As far back as I can remember I would rather sit and read than kick a ball. When choosing food, I’d rather have fried than fresh. My sweet tooth has always been out of control. I can remember getting sick as a child from too much candy on multiple occasions. And I like to bake. Breads, pies, sweets, you name it, I’ll bake it. And eat it.
But I want to live a long time with my sweetheart. I’m in no hurry to leave here for the next life. I hope for a long autumn before winter. So I have some work to do. I can no longer blame my laziness, or my sweet tooth. I’m smarter than this. Old habits and thought patterns are hard to break. I have to believe that I’m up for this challenge.
The How (Spiritual) This one’s a struggle. Personal devotion to Jesus Christ has to be the cornerstone of my life. But I struggle with getting this right. And that’s a part of my issue. Perfectionism. If I sense that I might not ‘get it right’, well then, better to not try, right? I referred to my laziness. Trying and doing is sweating. How much easier to think about and dream about doing. But this needs to change, too. I have too long lived in a way that allows me to ignore my own, personal spiritual walk in favor of focusing on what others were doing or not doing in theirs. And this has added to my own stress and the breakdown of my body.
The Where (Physical) I dream of living in another place. I’d love to live in Leavenworth (Washington) all year around. But our kids have family and friends besides us living here in their hometown. Leavenworth is another 3 hours to travel whenever they’re able to come home. It’s not practical to think that Scotte and I can leave all behind, church, family and friends to live in a town where neither of us have any connections. We both grew up here and here is all we really know. Spokane is a great place to live, but sometimes in my restlessness, I forget that.
I need to focus on living here, contentedly.
And commit to visiting Leavenworth, frequently.
The Where (Spiritual) The City of God. Two recent articles (one in World Magazine and one in Condé Nast Traveler) were both entitled similarly with this phrase leaping out at me. The City of God is where I live with my Lord, loving Him and working for Him, and enjoying Him. The beauty of the Gospel is that this City already exists and I am invited to live there with Him starting yesterday. It’s only my old self, with my old habits and thought life that keeps me outside the gate today. And why do I want to listen to her anyway? Where has she gotten me?
And so here I am, on the verge of the second half of my life. Getting serious about living this half better than I lived my second half. Where this will take me, who can tell?